Their faces...

Another labor day has come to a close.  The second one since loosing you, sweet Immaculee.  Mommy is reliving it all again.  That is how it is supposed to be and I am grateful for the memories and this grief as it keeps you close to me.  Your big sister Mya got me roped into another Hallmark movie yesterday!  This one I had seen before you'd been conceived, Follow The Stars Home.  It has a little girl in it with special needs so sweet and innocent just as you are.  Got me thinking about you and what could have been.  I remember two years ago when our labor day weekend started, we had just gotten the news that numerous diagnosis had been ruled out for you.  There was relief in that news but at the same time, bewilderment.  We now had to go into the second round of tests to determine what Cross the Good Lord had set upon you.  We attended numerous events, that weekend, you and I with your daddy and siblings.  It was ironic for mommy  to take notice of the special needs children at almost every event that weekend.  I had always been familiar with these types of children.  That Labor day weekend it was as though the sunglasses had been taken off and I could see them clearer.  Mommy paid close attention to them, to their interactions with siblings, their movements and the attentiveness of their parents.  I got a glimpse of you in their faces.  For the first time I had a preview of what was to come.  The possibilities!  I wondered what kind of a wheelchair you'd have, what kind of tone you'd have in your muscles, would you be able to feed yourself?  Mommy's mind was at peace with whatever God was gifting us in you.  Labor Day started with your Auntie Kelly and Uncle Ben coming over early in the morning before the parade to tell us goodbye and to shed some tears with us before they left.  We cried for the the things unknown, those things that would unravel in HIS time. 

Here we are two years later, the month of your second birthday.  So much has happened in those two years, most of which your intercessions helped make possible!  You are loved, missed and still a blessing to us. 

To everything there is a season...

I can't believe that I have not blogged for seven months!  I have been so caught up in the day to day laundry, dishes and housework.  Truth be told, I am soaking up every minute I get with these beautiful children of mine!  We all continue to be on this high that we experienced after Nariah's birth.  Some days feel like a distance dream since Immaculee's death. But, there are moments where the grief is still real, raw and like it was yesterday.  I find myself looking into Nariah's eyes crushed that I will never experience the everyday things with Immaculee like I do with her.  There are those moments that come and go, usually with a lump in my throat, contemplating them with teary eyes.  I stop, honor them and realize that they are significant and important too.  How I would love to bring her back or peek in on her through heaven's window.  On some occasions my imagination runs wild thinking of her and the experiences she might be having in heaven.  I am so thankful for the promise of eternal life!  Our seasons are changing, just like this grief of mine.  But constant is our reason for hope, joy and love. 


The pictures below are located in the "tunnel" at Avera Sacred Heart Hospital in Yankton.  Jeff and I have walked this tunnel with almost every child while in labor.  I love them!  They struck me in a whole new way while in labor with Immaculee.  I think I would make a special trip just to walk past these!

 

 

 

 

There are still stories to tell and emotions to express in time.