After kissing the kids goodbye, on induction day, we drove to Yankton. We first had to meet with Dr. Eichfeld at the clinic. We talked with her about what was to come. We learned that typically inductions like this could take anywhere from a few hours to many hours. I inquired about pain and was told that some women require epidurals and some don't need anything. I asked about size, how long she would be, how much she would weigh, and Dr could not really give us an answer because of all Immaculee's complications. She let us know that baby's color, depending on how long she was gone would probably be dark, so to prepare for that. We were pleased to know who our nurse would be for the day, as she had set this up in advance.
Before going to the hospital, Jeff and I went to pick out a blanket for Immaculee. This was the only thing that we could have for her, since she would not fit into clothes. Talk about the hardest thing to do. I LOST IT! I was so overcome with emotion. I wanted to pick out the most perfect, softest blanket for her. We found a beautiful one. I felt like I wanted to do more for her so we looked at the clothes. I found a cute little newborn size pink and brown sleeper, knowing she would probably never fit into it, it was just instinct, pure instinct for a mommy to clothe her baby. We looked at hats together but both talked about how they would be way too big. I could not bring myself to go to the checkout, so Jeff took care of it by himself. Jeff had made this trip to the checkout in this very store with every baby we have had, he always picked out an outfit to go home from the hospital in by himself. (since we had never found out the other kids sex). I lingered in the baby section, trying to hold back any more tears from falling while looking at all of the adorable outfits with a broken heart. After realizing this was the start of me not being able to have composure, I went to find him. I started looking at the women's clothing near his checkout and could overhear his conversation with the clerk who had asked him if this was his first child and his first girl. She was telling him that she had six boys and had always wanted a girl. Looking through the clothing all I could think about was what a joke fashion is and how nothing in that moment mattered to me but my faith and my family. We spend countless hours and dollars on things that are such a waste of energy and really do not matter in the scope of our short lives as they are not fruitful. Here we were in this mall with ladies who were trying to decide between dark wash or light wash jeans and we were about to deliver our dead child, I wanted to scream! As Jeff was leaving, the clerk told him how lucky he was and to enjoy every minute with his new daughter. When we met up we automatically locked hands. With a trip through the Mickey Dee's drive through Jeff started his traditional big mack diet that he always goes on for most meals when we are staying in the hospital with new babies. We pulled up to the hospital and sat in the parking lot while he finished his food. Trying to figure out McDonald's monopoly and watching a cute elderly woman park lightened our mood and then hand in hand we entered the hospital.
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