Our world slipped away...

Before I begin tonight, I just want to appologize for my incorrect use of commas and run on sentances...English was never my favorite subject!  Please bear with me! 

     I eventually was able to sleep for about 3 hours early Monday morning.  When I woke up I still had a headache.  I contemplated not going to work that day but it was a fleeting thought as I hoped as I got going this morning, my headache would go away and life would be back on track.  I took the kids to Mom and Dad's before going to work, the usual morning routine.  That morning I could not stand the thought of leaving them and broke down when giving them their goodbye hugs and kisses.  Of course my parents questioned what was going on but I blamed it on not getting enough sleep the night before.  Getting to work that day was a good thing as I had time to enjoy a cup of coffee while visiting with my favorite Occupational Therapist Nicole Holzbauer before my first patient arrived.  The morning flew bye with many distractions.  During lunch I realized I had not felt Immaculee move at all.  Taking every ounce of courage that was in me I went to ask the ultrasound tech, Julie, to check on my baby.  I have had the honor of being around Julie other than at work.  She is someone who spiritually I look up to and enjoy being with at various church functions.  I felt good she was with me during this moment.  I had explained the situation to her as she took her time going back and forth over my womb with the ultrasound head.  With the sincerest of words and true sympathy she told me the words I had feared.  I somehow managed to stay dry eyed until I got back to my office.  I had to tell my Boss Joe what was going on and I lost control of my emotions and let him know I would be leaving and uncertain of when I would return.  Joe is a good Boss and family man and was completely understanding as he gave me his sympathies.  I tried hard to reach Jeff by phone not remembering that he was at a funeral for Laverne Mazerek.  I waited for him to come back from the cemetary thinking that I was in the best place I could be for having been crying.  While waiting Father Richard returned and asked me to remind him again of my due date.  Again, not being able to contain myself I tearfully told him of my sadness and asked that he pray with me.  I will never forget how meaningfull that was or how much strength was given to me at that minute.  Just then my Jeff came back with other members of the Kuhlman family.  I had told them that I was on my lunch break and decided to stop and give my condolances.  I had asked Jeff to walk with me back to the van.  As we walked I told him that we had lost our precious baby.  I felt his devistation as he put his arm around me.  He, at that moment in time, was a father who had lost his child.  My heart ached for him as we sat in his pickup making a call to the Doctor.  I went home and he followed shortly after.  I wanted to get as much done as I could before we went in for labor induction the next day.  I started a load of laundry and then laid in bed as my body could not physically do anything.  Jeff was home by now and we could not find words to speak other than officially giving her the name Immaculee and holding on to each other as tightly as we could for it was the one thing that was certain.  The certaintly we clung to as our world was slipping away.