Right after our Immaculee's initial diagnosis we decided not to tell our children about any complications. School was just starting and we wanted to keep things as normal as possible for them. It was decided that we would spare them from any worries. Jeff was very busy and did not go to the first ultrasound with me. I figured this was was all routine by now. I leave work early, go the the ultrasound and do some shopping before going home. I decided that the girls should come with me that day. They both spent hours playing "baby Dr." together with lotion for the ultrasound gel and an old, soft ended flashlight for the ultrasound head. They were definitely excited! Upon finding out of some complications, Dr Eichfeld was careful when choosing her words around them. Ginger, my nurse was happy to sit with the girls and eat chocolate with them while the Dr and I talked in the other room. Mya, being the sharp thing she is, picked up on Immaculee's short limbs. Kalea was clueless of any abnormalities. Shortly after, Mya and I discussed our "tiny baby". She let me know that she was very excited to welcome a tiny baby to our family and did not care that she was going to be different than other babies.
After finding out about Immaculee's death one of the most daunting tasks was how to tell the kids. Kalea, Bennett and Briggs were with my parents when the kids got home from school that day. Mya said right away, "Mom I bet you came home from work because you still have that bad headache". I reassured her that was it and that Grandma and Grandpa had the rest of the kids so I could rest. It was a nice afternoon, so we sat on the deck with them. We talked about their day and I will never forget Mya's ability to crack a few jokes. (Up until then she had been attempting it and they would flop for her!) Shortly after this we told them that God had different plans for Immaculee and that she was an angel now. We were both amazed at how well they handled this. We talked briefly about what heaven must be like and what a special gift having our very own angel was. We did not share the sex of our baby with anyone and decided to let the know that they had a sister and what her name was. They wondered what her middle name was and we let them know that we did not have one picked out. Without hesitation, Bain said "Michelle like Mom's middle name". His sincerity brought tears to my eyes.
Later that night after Mom and Dad brought the other kids home and Briggs, Mya and Bain were sleeping we told Kalea and Bennett. When I envisioned telling the kids I thought that Mya and Bain would be the ones to struggle. I was terribly mistaken. Both Bennett and Kalea burst into tears. Kalea sobbed, immediately shouting "NO!" She sobbed for about fifteen minutes. She and I sat holding each other while Jeff explained how our angel would forever be with us and be able to see us and that someday we would hold her in heaven. This seemed to be of comfort to them. Telling them she was a girl and what her name was brought smiles to both of their faces.
All of the kids were able to sleep that night and woke up the next day knowing that this was the day their sister would come out of Mommy's tummy. Knowing she would not be a living baby, they were still excited to hold her and waited with great anticipation.
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